It’s so rainy & cloudy outside that at 11.50am, as I type this, the sky looks as though it could be 6 o’clock. The simple fact that it is warm enough to be rainy, however, makes me ludicrously happy and I walked to work with a spring in my step (leaning sideways against the wind). This weekend is (for me) relatively quiet – a buddhist meeting here, some birthday drinks there – and I”m really looking forward to it. It will be nice to spend a little time at home with Vince after being away last weekend, and recharge the batteries a little. Vince is rehearsing two short plays at the moment, so between that and my buildup to the band’s tour at the end of March, I get the feeling our ability to spend time together will be severely limited in the next month.

We’ve been here before, many times, and I feel lucky that we are both secure enough, and independent enough, to not feel abandoned or clingy. I like having my own stuff, my own interests, that he is always a part of and included in, but that he doesn’t feel the need to participate in all the time. For me, that independence is an important aspect of a healthy relationship. I think it’s a big part of why we work as a couple – we don’t ever really get into those arguments, familiar to many actors/musicians, where your spouse says ‘why are you always rehearsing?’ or ‘can’t we ever spend time together?’ or ‘you need to dedicate more time to me’ etc etc. That would drive me insane. Yes, there are times when the balance is off and we hardly see each other for weeks, but we both recognise that there are also phases when we have lots of free time to spend together. Recently, there have been relatively few of those, but it’s definitely made me realise how much I treasure those moments and turn things down sometimes so I can be home with him instead – not out of a feeling of guilt or obligation, but a desire on my part because I miss him. Likewise, I would never make him feel bad for taking a role or shooting a film on the only weekend I am free that month (this has happened), because he has to pursue his own career and his own success as an actor, and I completely support him in that. (I actually felt a little bit glad because it meant I got to watch the Cooking Channel all day in my pyjamas and no one was around to tell me otherwise.)

So this weekend I will enjoy the relaxing time at home, and look forward to seeing Vince again in April.