The band had a super fun jam session last night. The absolute joy of having a dedicated studio space all to ourselves on a weekly basis cannot be overstated to you all. We have been a nomad band from the very beginning – never enough money to rent a studio regularly, we have hopped around all kinds of spaces and spent the best part of three years rehearsing in the living room of fellow independent artists and all-round amazing chicas, Left on Red. Since early September, we have been using RedBird Studios in the Music Building on Eighth Avenue (and holy crap does that place smell like weed from the second you walk in there) and although it is TINY for six of us it is our space. We’re slowly getting it configured to work for us, so the setup time is getting smaller (and when I say ‘we’ I really mean Hank) but the luxury of all that time has paid off hugely in the quality of our output. We recently had a killer gig at The Underground, a venue we’ve been desperate to get into for ages, and our consistent vocal practice meant that one of our new songs sounded like this:

Coyote Love – Why'd You Have To Do It Now?

Not bad, huh? This is going to be on our upcoming blues album, so if you like its insane catchiness, make sure you download it when it’s released in 2012. In the meantime, we’re jamming, working on new covers and originals, and planning our second tour in the Caribbean next March. Feeling pretty rock n’ roll at the moment.

I scoff at friends of mine and their ridiculous phobias. Spiders? They eat mosquitoes and therefore I like them. I have a healthy respect for them and leave them undisturbed unless they get stuck in the bath (and then the old glass-of-water-and-piece-of-paper trick works to escort them to safety). Rodents? Puh-lease. I had two pet rats as a child. Clowns? They are kind of menacing, but really they’re an out of work actor – which is what I am, most of the time.

Of course, I have my own phobia, one that is just as irrational, ridiculous and scoff-worthy as the spiders and rats and clowns. I HATE monologue auditions. Nothing can make me back out of an audition faster than the phrase, ‘please prepare a two-minute monologue’. One of the reasons I have never really done EPAs [Equity Principal Auditions, for the uninitiated - open calls for Broadway & Off-Broadway shows] is because theatre auditions almost always require a monologue. I’ve been able to do awesome theatre work over the last six years and in that time, I can count on one hand the number of monologue auditions I have done. They all sucked. I got my jobs reading for specific shows or on recommendations. I love film auditions because they give you sides to read – and the student directors who post up notices asking you do to a monologue? I do not go to those. One reason is my aforementioned monologuephobia, but also it signals to me that the student doesn’t really know what they are doing, which doesn’t bode well for the shoot if I got cast. Film auditions should never involve a monologue. A straw poll on Facebook confirmed that most actor friends of mine feel the same way.

Although I never felt particularly held back by my lack of monologue preparedness, I was acutely aware of the gaping hole this left in my repertoire as an actor. It is doubly ridiculous because I have done THREE productions which were monologue shows – and stood on stage by myself for ten minutes at a stretch performing to the audience in each one. Within the context of the play? No problem. In an audition room with one bored casting assistant behind a table? I’m sweating just thinking about it. Being on Broadway was not really my goal, so I trundled along happily ignoring the problem and telling myself I really didn’t need to worry about it. Until I decided I want to get an agent.

You see, an agent is going to call me in based on my headshot or a mailing campaign (usually). I’m unlikely to be in the kind of show or film that they will see and so they have no idea what my acting is like. So, they will want to see me do a couple of monologues to gauge my skill/personality/level of suckage and decide if they want to work with me accordingly. Getting in front of agents, and freelancing with them, is a huge part of my goals – they are the ones who can really put me up for good auditions for feature films, the ones that pay a proper wage. A good agent is a huge ally in this big ocean of actors, and I want a good agent. So I procrastinated for about a year. Yes, I know.

Then, about a week ago, my friend and fellow actor Ines sent me a notice for an Off-Broadway play that was having EPAs. It was coming over from the Royal Court in London, they needed flawless English accents, and the only female character being cast fit my description very well. Damn. I really wanted to do the audition, but the wall came looming up at me: no monologue. Enter, from stage right, another friend and actor, Nicole. She is an opera singer, director, actor, choreographer and anything else you can think of. She’s done movement, monologue and singing coaching for a long time and is someone whose opinion I have always trusted and valued, and she had been posting notices on Facebook recently about coaching sessions. See where this is all going? She did an amazing job coaching me last weekend on a monologue (and forcing me to actually pick one, something I also do not like doing), bringing out layers in the piece that I would not have got on my own. She helped me recognise my physical bad habits (every actor has them) and worked on my voice a little bit, too.

Audition day rolled around and I was horribly, horribly nervous. I don’t tend to get stage fright when I am performing, but yesterday morning I had the churning stomach and dry mouth that only appears when I have to Perform A Monologue. I nearly didn’t go – for some reason I didn’t have an up to date Equity card and they would only let me sign up as non-Equity, meaning I had to wait for ages to get a slot and I was doing this on my lunchbreak from work – but I was determined not to let Nicole down after all the hard work she put in for me. So I sat and waited for half an hour, then got called in. DON’T PUKE. Once I got in the room, the casting assistant was lovely, she actually watched the whole monologue and laughed at one of the lines, and complimented me on it at the end of the audition. I skipped down the corridor and all the way back to my temp job, feeling like I had just conquered Everest.

To someone who can knock out four EPAs in a day, this sounds like the most ludicrous journey, I’m sure. It’s an EPA, for goodness’ sake. They hardly EVER even cast people from it anyway! But I guess that’s why phobias are irrational – they aren’t usually proportional or reasonable. Yesterday, I took a huge step forwards in getting over my phobia – and I’m looking forward to going back to work with Nicole soon to get another monologue ready, so when my agent meeting comes along I’m raring to go.

It’s no coincidence that I would not have done all this without the nudging of my friends. Whether they knew it or not, they were in the right place at the right time to push me in the direction I needed to go in, even if I didn’t really want to. (thanks universe!) And if you are hopeless like me, or just want to brush up on your monologues & songs, send me a message and I will put you in touch with Nicole. You can thank me later with a nice cake.

I know, you were all on tenterhooks. However this has made me (possibly) disproportionately happy. I finally found the perfect pair of work trousers, in the right colour, they fit perfectly and are just the right side of menswear/vintage wide leg styling. All I need is to remove the several inches of excess fabric that gather at my feet (curse you, short legs) and I will be feeling snazzy and stylish in no time.

Now we can all relax and enjoy our weekends.

This month has accidentally become rather busy. I’m working full-time for four weeks, which adds to my feeling of busyness (plus, yay money!), added having a gig with Coyote Love and a two-night run of a play within 5 days of each other meant I have not had much time to stop recently. It’s lovely to be rushing from one creative project to the other; for me, work always begets work and I’m feeling inspired and ready to audition for more projects. I have an audition tomorrow for a film project (which reminds me that I need to print off a headshot) and I will be returning to the awesome cast of Unlicensed in December to join the plot of Episode 4. I’m being sent the script soon and what I know about it already is very exciting. Not gonna spoil it for you though: you just have to show up and watch it for yourself.

The Coyote gig was fantastic too. We were playing at a venue we’ve wanted to get into for absolutely ages and it couldn’t have gone better. Thanks to the legion of friends who came out to support – and in particular big thanks to Chris, Sydney, Justin, Amy and Tanja who all came to support me – we had a great set and the venue loved us. Expect to hear more soon about that place. The setup at The Underground is really ideal for us – they have a back room with good acoustics, minimal but very effective sound equipment and no cover charge, so I always feel good about inviting people to see the show. Combined with our new rehearsal/recording space, which has allowed us to spend a lot of concentrated time on working vocals and harmonies, I think that our performance level and quality overall has come on a huge amount in the last six months. I know we can be even better.

Between all that, working 9-5, taking on extra responsibility with my buddhist organisation and trying to see friends, poor Vince has been horribly neglected by his dreadful wife. I always promise him I won’t overbook myself, but it’s an uphill struggle and I can’t claim to always be winning it. But I do try. I promise dear.

Oops. Already into October and I haven’t blogged about anything yet. This year is rocketing by far too quickly for my liking, and I’m stuck in a bit of a rut.

I am bored of temping. There, I said it. Although I love the flexibility it can give me and the lack of responsibility to a ‘day job’, it really isn’t what I want to be doing with 90% of my time. Unfortunately, I’m no further along in getting acting and music to pay me than I was a year ago, so here I am still. I’m in this for the long haul, for sure – the idea of going back to this [speaking as I sit in an office at a temp job] permanently makes me feel depressed, but I feel like I’m going to still be here this time next year and still just as broke and struggling. I’m generally an upbeat and positive person but the film work and opportunities have been a little thin on the ground of late, which is prompting this reflection. Something has to move forward. I’m my own worst enemy at holding myself back, doubting or procrastinating on the stupidest of things, so writing down my frustrations can sometimes spur me on to actually get off my arse and do something about it. No use whining that I’m tired and poor and want things to be different if I’m just sitting here doing bugger all about it.

So there we go. I’m really happy to be doing a show this month with Dysfunctional, because they are awesome people and remind me that I’m ridiculously lucky to work in indie theatre with people like them, who give me amazing roles to play. If it wasn’t for them, I’d be even more grumpy and whiny. So come and see the play and say thanks.