Something’s Gotta Give
Oops. Already into October and I haven’t blogged about anything yet. This year is rocketing by far too quickly for my liking, and I’m stuck in a bit of a rut.
I am bored of temping. There, I said it. Although I love the flexibility it can give me and the lack of responsibility to a ‘day job’, it really isn’t what I want to be doing with 90% of my time. Unfortunately, I’m no further along in getting acting and music to pay me than I was a year ago, so here I am still. I’m in this for the long haul, for sure – the idea of going back to this [speaking as I sit in an office at a temp job] permanently makes me feel depressed, but I feel like I’m going to still be here this time next year and still just as broke and struggling. I’m generally an upbeat and positive person but the film work and opportunities have been a little thin on the ground of late, which is prompting this reflection. Something has to move forward. I’m my own worst enemy at holding myself back, doubting or procrastinating on the stupidest of things, so writing down my frustrations can sometimes spur me on to actually get off my arse and do something about it. No use whining that I’m tired and poor and want things to be different if I’m just sitting here doing bugger all about it.
So there we go. I’m really happy to be doing a show this month with Dysfunctional, because they are awesome people and remind me that I’m ridiculously lucky to work in indie theatre with people like them, who give me amazing roles to play. If it wasn’t for them, I’d be even more grumpy and whiny. So come and see the play and say thanks.
The biz is a bitch. And right now, unless it’s some huge blockbuster movie (*cough cough Avengers cough cough*) backers aren’t tossing money at smaller films w/unknown peeps. No movies = no roles = no auditions = no Agents searching. *sigh* Plus, the “little guy/gal” doing indie films now use bigger names too. Breaking into the biz is hard and you’ve been doing so well! Don’t give up! Look at all you’ve accomplished music wise! Look at how your resume for film/tv has grown! You’ve not done nothing. Remember that!!!
Ever thought of getting a part time bartending gig? You’re GREAT with people, you know all the folks at the pubs in the pub-crawl, and it’s flexible! It’d be more stimulating than the “temp” gigs. Meh. I don’t know. It’s a thought. It’s either that or find a full time day job again so you have money and insurance…and do theatre at night.
Either way…I’m sure you’ll make the right call for you. You always do.
Break a leg on the show! I’m hoping to make it now that them damn edits be done! :)
xoxo
Thanks lady! I’m not throwing in the towel – just having a bit of a clearing out in my brain, so to speak. My temp job is still one of the best survival gigs going – good hourly rate, health insurance and nice places to work (with free lunch in one case!) so I am very appreciative of it. Just getting a bit fed up of my perceived lack of progress and sometimes it’s good to just let it out! Hope to see you at the show, will def see you at your launch party! :)
Backing up all the positive stuff your friend has highlighted! I was reading something recently about “getting better, not being good”. The sense is that a ‘realistic optimist’ goes after possible improvements as well as keeping the BHAGs (big, hairy, audacious goals) in view. Mixing pragmatism and BHAGs is not bad.
Very proud of you
Pa x