Coyote Love had another fun gig at The Underground last night. It was a rainy Tuesday evening and therefore not the largest crowd we’ve ever had, but they were enjoying it and we were too, so who cares? I got a couple of compliments on my singing which I was really happy about. I’m not sure exactly what happened recently, but my voice has finally decided to show up. I mean my real singing voice, the one I always thought I had but could never quite manifest in real life. I have always known it was there, strangely, but it was apparently not ready to materialise until I put some work in. (Funny that.) I also think that I have the kind of voice that needed time to age. I’m turning 30 in a couple of weeks and I’m more and more comfortable in my own body, voice and personality than I have been at any other time in my life. Age, wisdom, blah blah blah.

However, after I had struggled for the last couple of years with losing my voice at the drop of a hat – particularly when I was tired, which was not very helpful as I’m usually always tired – I got fed up and decided to take a multi-pronged approach to fixing the problem once and for all. As we play more and more gigs, and are planning another tour in the Caribbean next March, which last time became an epic battle to keep any shreds of voice intact for the last gig, I knew it was time.

Firstly, I needed to take care of it better. I can’t drink while I’m performing as much as I used to – it dries out my throat – and I have to warm up before our gigs, even just a couple of minutes. Secondly, when I get a bad throat, I started gargling hot salt water – not the most pleasant thing in the world, but so unbelievably effective and better than pumping over the counter or prescription medications into myself when a natural remedy works just as well. Thirdly – I really decided to want it. Everything we achieve (or don’t) comes from our own sense of determination, and I had never truly focused my determination on having a strong singing voice. So it was included in my list of goals on my Buddhist altar, and I have been chanting regularly to improve for the last few months (and increasing the amount I chant every day helps both spiritually AND because it’s exercising my voice – bonus!). It’s amazing what changes when your attitude does.

This morning, after getting home at 1am and then rising at 7 to get ready for work, I was happy to note that I am not croaking like I used to be after a late gig night. Band practice tonight is working on a new cover song that is all vocals, and we’re doing about an hour of warmups singing Bach chorales first, so the old shouty box is going to be in tip top condition by the end of this week.

This weekend, the band went upstate to play a gig at SUNY Delhi for the fourth year in a row. It’s always an interesting gig, as we’re essentially playing to the students in the cafeteria during dinner. Not exactly the rock and roll lifestyle, I know, but hey. A band’s gotta play wherever they get a gig, ya know? After our hilariously awkward gig last Thursday (see blog post here), anything would be an improvement. We didn’t get much audience response on Saturday, but we definitely had a good time and got some great compliments from the campus activities director, who also booked us for the spring. Success! Then Hank got sick and we had a flat tire. Swings and roundabouts.

(A blog post on that is coming soon on the Coyote blog, which I will link to when it goes up.)
UPDATE: Here’s the post on our weekend gig.

So the band is going along pretty well, and that is highlighting to me the woeful lack of film work this year. Either there were lots of people looking for short-haired actresses last year, or I was just in a groove, because this year it’s been rubbish. I’m submitting as much as I can – but the volume of roles available to me seems so much less and of those, I’m not getting as many auditions. It’s becoming a source of frustration because I want to be working. However, I also had a realisation that I’ve let my big goals this year – feature film work and freelancing with agents – slip by because of procrastination and self-doubt. I had a little tantrum about this the other day and am now working on getting over myself and sending out my headshot to agents. By the end of the year, I will have sent it to 10 suitable agents and have monologues prepared for any meetings I get. This is my determination. If I write it here and publish it publicly, it means I actually have to do it.

So there you go.